Therapy Girl Travels

As we sat eating flapjacks in the fluffy August clouds somewhere above Bradford and Halifax, I looked down into the valley from my vantage point in the heather, propped up against a rock, which had a sign drilled into it pointing walkers in the direction of ancientness, and watched the dogs give my mum long looks of love.

Above the fern-covered hills in front of me towered 21st century angels, better known as wind turbines, turning their propellors sedately, majestically, in the late Summer sun…

It occurred to me that what holds us back from unity, acceptance and peace are questions we have pondered on as a species since Time began and I don’t know how close I am going to get to answering them, but their barriers have been named, recognised and acknowledged if nothing else, and this gives me something to springboard off, a history we hope not to retell.

There is a wise spiritual psychologist who once said that what we see played out on the world stage is in fact personal issues influencing politics and not the other way around ~ and that much of this macrocosmic disaster control can be addressed and held in the therapy room, on a micro level. I happen to agree wholeheartedly with this but there is just one catch ~ the individual(s) in question actually have to want to turn and look at themselves, to explore deeper, to stop externalising their pain and feel it, deeply, in their bodies, to stop running from it in their minds and not be absolutely terrified of what they will find, which is in fact what holds most people back from walking through the counselling room door.

“We learn from history that we learn nothing from history” is a cynically accurate quote by the German philosopher Hegel, popularised by the famous playwright George Bernard Shaw. I think it encapsulates the gargantuan hamster wheel of repetition we find ourselves in perfectly. Yet even this is not of humanity’s making, and by that I mean it comes down to every single one of us to make up the whole.

This observation is perhaps not groundbreaking in itself I’ll admit, but followers of interdependence and interbeing have been meditating on these principles for thousands of years ~ that everything ~ including thoughts, objects and the self ~ arises from its connection to causes, patterns and phenomena ~ which are both outside and within our control. This allows for softness in approaching the hard, which at first seems strange, and also for the prospect of deep reflection leading to different choices and, ultimately, profound change.

The prominent Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön writes: “Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” This may sometimes feel like we are doomed to repeat the same mistakes until we have integrated the lesson Life is trying to teach us, like Sisyphus, condemned to forever push the boulder up the proverbial hill. And so we come to the ultimate question ~ if we keep repeating the same mistakes, what are they trying to teach us? What, if it has one, is Life’s Divine Will?

Notice what comes to mind if I recall that, even in Ancient Rome, Venus was infatuated with Mars. This reminds us that Love has always been present amongst aggression, hatred and war, and if we could harness that ~ on both sides of the scoreboard ~ could we hope for something more? Could we aim for the Moon and ~ even if we miss ~ ‘land among the stars’?

My Moon here I hold as unity consciousness and the somewhat optimistic promise of peace, whilst the stars represent forgiveness, compassion, acceptance, tolerance and for all a life of relative ease.

It is paradoxically painful and important to note that it is not worth wishing for a life that does not incorporate the inevitable experiences of pain and subsequent growth ~ such as death, grief, heartbreak and all the unavoidable sorrows humanity has come to know.

Where do we even start with such an almost laughably idealistic vision, where do we begin?

We begin by looking within. We begin with remorse, we begin with regret, we begin knowing that we will inevitably stumble and forget and be put to the test. We begin acknowledging that some might not follow this path. We begin by putting our past selves ~ with respect ~ to rest and thank them anyway for teaching us what went wrong and hope they did their best with what they had and were not, as I once believed of myself, born ‘bad’.

We begin by sitting in the gloom and sometimes in the therapy room, and realising that we ourselves are the light we’ve been searching for all along. It’s time to recognise the lessons in everything that goes wrong. Let’s co-create with the One Above and believe that Being is one of Universal Love in the face of us consistently fucking up. ‘The cracks are how the light gets in’ ~ perhaps this is the Divine Plan ~ to humble us so completely we come to understand that sometimes the most powerful act is, simply, one of holding hands.

In Love&Light, FS XOX